In fact, at varying degrees we soak up their attributes. We find ourselves adopting their quirky phrases and then uttering them without even realizing it.
Our lovers' laughters, if we are lucky, take the shape of delectable contagions in memory. With only a wisp of effort, I can likely recall the sound and imagery of various laughters issued from the lips of most of my lovers. My current love, debonair as she is, laughs like a dog cartoon character named Muttley (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKm5xQyD2vE). And to my delight she has other laughs too.
We also pay attention to our lover's words, embracing some and discarding others. A lover is oftentimes a self-proclaimed expert on all kinds of advice. The hope is, of course, that a lover's words come with an ounce of modesty and a pound of tact.
In words lovers give many things, but what I want to call attention to is the following: recommendations. My lovers, the ones that love and loved me best, have proffered the greatest suggestions! I've been lucky, especially in more recent years, for the recommendations given to me by lovers. In particular, I will note that I spent a portion of the evening watching the movie "Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Diane Arbus" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVd8RbFESw0). This film was recommended to me by an ex probably more than three years ago when we were together. The movie selection sat in my Netflix queue for well over a year and then after we broke up I deleted it and all of her other recommendations. At the time, even movie recommendations were too much for my busted heart. But, in the end, I remembered. And this says many things about my relationship with memory, but also about my driven loyalty to authentic love. I remember a lot.
I'm recommending the movie to you. The film calls attention to an attribute that is shared both by the ex who mentioned it to me and my current loving partner; in short, this attribute is freakishness. Both of these gals are aliens. I can't date anybody who isn't one. The person who I'm dating needs to be a freak in some way or, at the very least, have a deeply-rooted appreciation and acceptance for human aliens. As I said, the film speaks to this notion exactly.
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| Diane Arbus |
As for Diane Arbus . . . from what I've read of her and from what I've observed in her photography, she had a profound connection to freaks and human aliens. She seemed to be one herself. The movie "Fur" is fiction, but the story seems to carry over to Arbus' real life as, at least, a symbolic representation of what she might have felt. I've decided I dig Diane Arbus. Her photography addresses the human alien view I have held so dear for all my life.
On occasion we pay attention to our lovers.
And, on occasion, a love once shared beckons us to important and familiar places. This can often occur years after an utterance of a few seemingly insignificant words. Such a benefit can come easily.
All we have to do . . . is pay attention.
